Just so you all know, you're about to be bombarded with photo overload right here. That's what happens when I only post once a month ;)

Oh, and the longest blog entry on the face of this earth.

First of all, I cut my hair! SO much easier. I was spending way too much time blowdrying hair down to my waste everyday just to throw it up in a ponytail. I died it too. But it's still super light. Just went back to my natural blond so I could let my roots grow back and finally have nice healthy hair again. For some reason, everytime I get pregnant (and everytime I give birth too, now that I think about it) I change my hair. Must be a woman thing.

Speaking of being pregnant and womanhood...OH LORD. I have been insanely sick. Seriously people, I have never spent so much time on the inside of my toilet in my life. Last week I threw up every single day. Sometimes twice a day. And I don't just mean cutesy little dry heaving in the morning. I mean stomach turning, cramping, "Lord help me now" PUKING. Only I haven't been eating that much because everything everywhere smells putrid and taste like a garbage dump so the only thing coming out was stomach acid. Lovely.

However, the good news is that I haven't thrown up in four days now and I think I'm actually on the road to feeling better. Food is actually starting to taste somewhat appetizing again and for the first time in three weeks we've been getting out of the house!! This is by far the best part of slowly inching towards physical normalcy again. We had such a fun and cool schedule going right before I got sick. Every month we had a different theme and I would have activities ready for Dakota to do everyday that corresponded with that theme. And every Wednesday we had field trips to different places and would spend the day exploring and out in the fresh air. When I got sick, that all came to a giant screeching halt. I could barely get off the couch, let alone plan and carry out activities and day trips. But this week has been great so far. Yesterday we met up with my beautiful friends Isabel and Nicole then we went over to my sisters and hung out for a while. Then today we had a really awesome playdate with Kelly (Davies sister) and her son Mason. Which I want to say, Dakota and Mason, really, they have become best friends in every sense of the word. They literally are inseparable. When we're not hanging out, they are talking about one another constantly. So this has been such a joy to watch; their blossoming relationship.

We took a trip with them to The Balboa Park in San Diego and they had a BLAST. The dino exhibit was definitely Levi's fav ;) He's doing dinosaur impressions everyday since. "RRRRRAAAWWRRR!" He gets so loud that I've had to teach him how to do the "quiet dino".

Dakota and Mason's favorite part was running around the entire park together, exploring and collecting "eggs" (which were really giant seed pods). They make the perfect pair.

On the subject of Dakota, she has been on my heart and mind so so so much over the last few months. A big part of starting a schedule of monthly themes and field trips was in order to prepare her (and me!) for homeschooling. She'll be five next June and that means that she'll start school the following September. Well, according to how the current school system is set up. But, we're not particularly dedicated to sticking to "the system", so five is not a definite age for us to feel that we have to start her. We're not putting her in pre-school either. And this is a big diversion from what all of her friends and peers are doing right now. Both Davey and I decided a long time ago that pre-school just wasn't the path we're choosing for our kids. But either way, I've felt that I need to start preparing right now for what's ahead.

So here's the deal, I've been super schizophrenic over her schooling decisions for at least a year now. Not over what our beliefs and values are on the subject. We know exactly what we believe, we have a strong faith in what we believe and we're willing and ready to raise our kids accordingly. But what I've been crazy over is how to go about it. I'm new at this. Even under the most "normal" circumstances, starting the school process is a somewhat stressful and unsure time. But starting the process in an "unconventional" way is even more mind boggling. There are SO many options. Even though homeschooling is "unconventional", it's quickly becoming very popular, especially among Christian families. There are tons of homeschooling resources, tons of options, and it will make a person insane even beginning to attempt to sort through it all. Seriously, if you ever get the chance, google "homeschool" and see how much comes up! It's like a billion links to a billion other links with five billion options each!

It's taken me months and months to come to terms with a lot of things. I sat down and wrote them out a few weeks ago and it gave me such a sense of peace and clarity. Here is what I wrote...

Things that HAVE to happen in order to homeschool successfully:

1. Both Dave and I going to bed NO LATER than 10pm everynight.

2. Taking a MAJOR chill pill.

*not freaking out when the house is slightly disordered.

*not being consumed by the "small stuff".

*taking "peace-time" for myself once a day (walking the dog alone, taking a bath, etc).

3. Constantly re-evaluating our path/curriculum/goals and be willing and able to adjust them if necessary.

4. Accepting help from my husband on a regular basis.

*support

*housework; cooking, cleaning, etc.

5. Keeping perspective. Always reminding myself what's important; my children, their relationship with God, and their education. Not allowing my life to drift in other directions. Constantly reeling my priorities back into line.

6. Keeping a "servants" attitude. Praying constantly for the Lords intercession in this part of my life. Continuously praying for his strength to work through me. I can NOT sucessfully school my children if I don't completely surrender to the will of God and take joy in serving my family. (This has been my daily prayer for months, "Lord, give me a joy on my heart as I serve my husband and children this day...") This is imperative.

Then I wrote another list...

Things that HAVE to happen in order to be at peace with our decision:

1. Remembering that learning is a natural process and only needs to be facilitated, not necessarily institutionalized.

2. Realizing that homeschooling/private schooling doesn't isolate us, only includes us in a different group of people.

3. Accepting (and being at peace with) the fact that our children will be judged by society with societies standards, even though they're not participating in societies traditional schooling. And subsequently teaching them to view this as a learning experience and as an actual blessing.

4. Prioritizing my (our) life on a constant basis in this order:

*God

*Husband

*Kids (Homeschooling)

*Housework

*Everything Else

5. Always remembering to keep it simple and remembering our purpose; to teach our children HOW to learn, not just filling them with information. Information can be forgotten/discarded. But the ability to LEARN well, enriches a life-time.

This is basically our homeschooling manifesto. Everything we believe is summed up in those ideas. Another big thing we love about homeschooling is the fact that it allows the freedom of individualized learning and just as importantly, individualized socialization. Davey and I believe that there is a HUGE over-emphasis on the "socialization" of children in our society. Here's how we see it...

Kids have different personalities by nature. Their personalities are what they are from the moment they are born. Some kids are very social. Some are not. And many are somewhere on a huge spectrum in between. In the event that we have a very social child, that child will find ways of socializing wherever he/she goes. If a child is naturally very outgoing, given the freedom to express their personality, they'll be outside on a daily basis seeking friends and companionship, playing with the neighborhood kids, making friends at the park or on field trips. If a child is naturally an introvert, he/she will be happy to be less social. He/she will probably have a couple of close friends, participate in a few of activities that interest him/her and be content with this.

To us, pushing an introvert to be social is just as damaging as pushing an extrovert to be passive. Kids need to embrace their own personality in an environment that allows them to feel secure about who they are and what they need to be happy functioning human beings.

We just see homeschooling as more of a even playing field in this respect. Kids generally have a lot more freedom to be themselves and not feel the pressure to "fit in" per se. I remember all through school, easily being able to pick out the introverts who were MISERABLE in such a huge, institutionalized environment. Including myself!

Now this is to say that we decide to go the homeschooling route. Homeschooling has always been what I've always kind of just figured I would do, but really there's always been two options. Homeschooling or private schooling. Really, there are three options, homeschooling, private schooling, and public schooling. But public schooling would be by far a "last resort".

Our first choice for our kids has always been for them to go to private Christian school through Calvary Chapel. Here are our reasons:

1. Private Christian school provides a curriculum that aligns with our families values/beliefs.

*One of the biggest problems Davey and I have with the public school system is it's curriculum. Two examples; Evolution in science (which I could write an entire essay on this itself, but will spare you all) and American History. Today, more and more of God is being erased out of our countries origins in our school's textbooks and history is literally being re-written to suit a liberal agenda.

2. Private schools remove a large portion of peer pressure.

*Of course there will always be peer pressure, no matter where a child goes to school. However, choosing our children's environment, to us, is one of the biggest ways we can eliminate unnecessary influence on them. The chance of our kids being around a strong Christian influence in a private Christian school...100%. The chance of our children being around a strong Christian influence in a public school...probably close to %5. But I'd be willing to guess it to be close to 0%. Not to say that the kids in private schools don't do stupid things or don't break the rules. But, the big difference is the response to those behaviors. The difference is the adults, not the kids.

3. Private Schools generally hold smaller class sizes and smaller student-to-teacher ratios

*This is super important to us and has a lot of the same values that you would find in homeschooling. Small class sizes mean more individual attention and a more individualized approach to learning. There are a handful of differnent learning types. Unfortunately in an institutionlized setting like public school, by nature, there can only be one type of teaching. An instructor with 30-40 children in his/her class can't individualize the curriculum to each students needs. A private school teacher can't neccessarily either. But the advantage comes in the fact that if a child is struggling, it would become apparent a lot quicker in a private setting than public for the sheer fact that there are less kids to tend to. Also, the curriculum is malleable in a private school. There are more diverse options for kids who tend to have a different learning style.

Having said all this, it's easy to see why we choose private school over any other option. But to me, sending all of our kids to a private school wasn't ever really an option because I always just assumed that we could never afford it. It was always one of those things like, "Wouldn't that be nice? Well, I can always homeschool them instead." But, Davey and I have had a couple of long, in depth talks about it over the last few months and he actually seems to think that there is a good chance that we'll be able to afford it. And truly, when he told me this I was overjoyed. What a blessing that would be.

But we don't know what the future holds. In the meantime, we're going to be making an appointment with the Calvary Chapel school right here next to us in order to sit down and talk about our options and time schedule. I know that they generally start kids at 5, so we would need to enroll her by next Spring. I never realized what a process it was to even get your child accepted to a private school before I started researching it a while back. But apparently it's a long to-do list!

Even if we end up not being able to afford private school, and we do end up going the homeschool route, at least I feel like I've made a TON of progress. We've decided that if we homeschool we're going to be putting Dakota in a Private Satellite Program (PSP). I never even knew these existed before but when I found out about it I was so excited! Basically, mostly all larger Private Schools have PSP's. It's a special division of the private school that provides support/advice/record keeping/and education and curriculum guidance to homeschoolers. Each family pays a small tuition fee (usually about $25-$50 per month compared to $430 a month for private school!) and the school maintains all your child's records, test scores, transcripts, etc. And they offer lots of awesome activities. Calvary Chapels PSP program offers monthly field trips, kindergarten and high school graduations, sports, art classes, and one of the PSP programs I found even offers "Friday School" which I thought was kind of cool. One day a week Dakota would go to the actual school for fellowship, worship, learning activities and basic curriculum. It's like homeschooling with all the advantages of a Christian Private School. The best of both worlds.

A huge thing I've been struggling with regarding homeschooling my kids is the idea of "failing" them. Especially Dakota. She is SO sharp, a seriously bright and driven child. Not to say that Levi's not smart, but Dakota has the type of personality and intellect that just grabs onto knowledge and runs with it. The small things I've already done with her have shown me how amazingly quick and studious she is. Her attention to detail and her attention span is AMAZING. You would think this would set a potential homeschooling mom's mind at ease. But a lot of the time, it does the opposite to me! In a sense, I always feel like she has SO much potential and if I take her entire education upon myself, I could somehow ruin her or waste all that potential if I don't do it just right. That's a HUGE amount of pressure. But then, most of the time I come back to reality and realize that really, no matter where she goes to school, homeschool, private school, or public school, I'm still responsible for that decision. Even if she went to public school and they ruined her, it was still my decision to put her in that setting in the first place. Also, I have to remember too that in Dakota's case, I truly believe that she will flourish wherever she is. I believe this down to the very fiber of my being. Just like every parent, you just want to give them the most advantages possible.

So we'll see what God has planned for us. I would totally appreciate the prayers of our friends and family. Right now is an exciting, challenging and exhausting part of our families life. So many changes and so many options. A new baby, a new house, a new school...wow....enough to make your head spin! But also enough to make a person get down on their knees and thank the Lord for the fact there are that many options. What a blessing.

Oh, and this week is Dakota's last week of ballet. Her rehearsals start tomorrow and then she has her big recitals on Friday and Saturday night. We know she's going to do GREAT! The pic above was taken just before she went for her group pic at the dance studio. She's wearing her "Bad to the Bone" outfit, their theme this year. All the kiddies are little bikers ;)

*Update* By the time it took me to finish this ridiculously long post, now I feel like throwing up again.*

*Sigh* The break was nice while it lasted.