It's finally here...2011!! Oh man I thought the new year would never arrive. And now that it has, I feel as excited and overjoyed as I thought I would. I'm feeling very ready to have this baby. At 30 weeks, I started feeling nauseous again. I thought it may have just been a fluke so I pretty much ignored it for about a week. Then after I continued to feel sick, even more and more, I thought maybe it was my vitamins, so I laid off them for a bit but that didn't help. And now, I feel just slightly more nauseous every day that passes. It really is starting to feel like the first trimester again. I'm starting to be bothered by certain smells and my appitite sucks! I'm back at that, "Nothing sounds good to eat" stage like I'm two months pregnant all over again. I'm thinking that by time I actually have the baby I'll be feeling full blown nausea day and night!! Well, it must be what my body needs to do and all I'm sayin' is "Bring on the babe!!" Haha. But, I know that this baby has the perfect time to be born, in the perfect way, right when it's supposed to be and I'm happy to put up with a little more nauseau if I need to. Right now I'm just trieing to enjoy the last little fleeting moments of pregnancy I have...the bumps and kicks, the squirms and the just plain awe and anticipation of wondering who it is in there, which is by far my favorite part of pregnancy.

Speaking of, we now know what Koty and Levi's little cousin-to-be is....a BOY!! Kelly and Vince (Davies sister and brother-in-law) invited us along to their ultrasound last month to find out the sex of the baby and we were so honored that we got to be a part of it. So, Mason's getting a little brother and he is one happy camper. And we're getting another little boy running around our family! Kelly and I have been joking about "what if" our baby is a boy too, oooooooooh....that would be an aweful lot of boyhood on playdates! Literally, four boys under four years old. Wow. Dakota would definitely be the matriarch of the bunch!

It's always fun to sit around and ponder whether this little one is a girl or a boy, but in reality, we only have a few weeks left of guessing. I am SO incredibly excited for this birth. I started the Hypnobabies program on my 30 week mark. And I have to say, it has by far exceeded my expectations. I've actually been on the fence about it since I was pregnant with Levi. I went back and forth constantly about whether it was something I would be into or not. So finally, I started listening to the scripts at night after everyone else was asleep and I could lay there in total peace knowing that I wasn't going to be disturbed. At first it was a little hard to relax as much as I needed to. But, that took maybe a week to get over and now, I honestly can't wait until bedtime so I can have pretty much the only "alone time" I ever get with this baby.

My favorite script so far is the pregnancy/birth affirmations. These are SO empowering and have completely rejuvinated the amount of peace I feel being pregnant and getting ready to give birth. It's amazing how much doing Hypnobabies has even transformed my daily mentality and ability to cope with normal stresses. The pregnancy and birth affirmations are meant to be listened to on a daily basis, and I'm doing exactly that. Even just listening to it in the background during the day is an awesome way to feed my subconcious. I've made a list of my top ten favorite pregnancy/birth affirmations. Here they are...

1. I take full ownership of my pregnancy.

2. All decision for my pregnancy are mine to make.

3. I make educated and informed decisions for my pregnancy and my babies birth.

4. I am strong about verbalizing my feelings and desires.

5. I am willing to allow others to give me what I want.

6. I can say "No" and still be respected.

7. Other peoples negative feelings belong only to them an I keep them away from me at all times.

8. My baby knows how and when to be born and I will be patient.

9. Babies are born on their birthdays. Not when doctors decide.

10. My body is made to give birth easily and comfortably.

The biggest realization I've come to about Hypnobabies is this; It's simply de-programming all the junk and non-sense we've learned about pregnancy and birth through our cultural experience and re-programming it with the reality of pregnancy and childbirth. After a couple of weeks of listening to the program, I realized that about 90% of the suggestions and teachings were simply what happens normally and naturally in a normal and natural birth. When you're alone during your birthing time, and relaxed and in your own environment, your mind and body actually enter into a somewhat hypnotic state on it's own. I'm really thankful there's programs out there like this to help us get back to the center of pregnancy and birth.

So, to say the least, I'm very grateful to have started the program finally and and am looking forward to this birth every single day ♥

In other news, I turned 30 last month! I had an awesome birthday that I actually got to celebrate I think about three times! But what made it even more special was my best friend Pam and her family coming out to spend my birthday weekend with me. We spent the day hiking with the kids and completely enjoying one another's company. We even got to catch some itty bitty frogs!!

See what I mean? These frogs were like seriously adorable. So tiny. And Koty just reached right in and grabbed them! She is such an animal lover. Reminds me of Davies mom all the time.

Anyway, back to the baby and upcoming birth, because that's pretty much all I think about these days. I showed Levi his first birth video (natural birth, at home, water, etc.) He was transfixed on it! When it ended, he said, "Mommy, baby! Baby!" I had to show him six or seven videos, then convince him that we would watch more later. I was really happy to see how into it he was. Now every day he pats my belly and tells me, "Mommy, baby out." Then pats his mouth then my boobs and says, "Baby. Mama's." (Our word for breastfeeding). This is so sweet I could melt into a pile of mush on the floor!! I'm really glad he picked right up on the babies coming out and then pretty much immediately breastfeeding afterward from all the videos. I'm really choosy about which birth videos I let them see. I don't mind them seeing private parts so much (within good taste of course), but I do mind them seeing screaming, emergencies, any sort of forced birth, overused interventions, machinery, mother's strapped down to a beds. I always remember growing up knowing only about birth through the ancient midwifery books my mom and dad had lieing around the house; black and white pictures of hippy couples, simple beds, a midwife and a couple of women hanging around to help. I also remember loving to look at the simple drawings throughout the books. The one I remember the most is of course the baby head emerging from the lotus blossom, which has since become THE emblem of natural/homebirth...

Another drawing I fondly remember (And still look back to from time to time!!)...

Something else made a huge impression on me as a child learning about birth through these books; the role of the male. Every single image I remember seeing that involved a male in it, was one of the male in the supportive role during pregnancy and birth. Since I know how influential the images and stories I heard about birth as a young child were to me, I am serious about how I portray it to my kids, especially Dakota. I want her to see and know that the woman is the center of the birthing process, when she feels supported and loved and nurtured, she is empowered and capable of almost anything....

It just makes for a perfect circle really. Very biblical if you think about it. God really knew what he was doing when he created the family.

Anyway, I won't make you sit through any more hippy pictures, I promise! For now at least ;)

I guess it's safe to say I'm enjoying my wave of late pregnancy "earth mama" vibe of hormones (minus the nausea!). I love the way I feel right after I very first get pregnant and right before I'm about to give birth. You get that serge of life coursing through your veins. I'm telling you, God created the best drugs on earth; oxytocin, relaxin, endorphins, prolactin...All the "love hormones". And just think, the best are yet to come!

I'm off to the birth center for a prenatal appointment this coming Tuesday. And an hour long maternity massage!! I get three of them with our birth package. I know, poor me, right? At first when I saw that massages were now included in all our midwife's packages I thought, "Hmm, that's cool I guess." But now that I've had one, I think,"Umm, no! That's AWESOME!!" Lori (our midwife) is seriously a genius for including massage into her prenatal care. She has an entire room dedicated to just relaxation and massage and a masseuse who ROCKS it! Prenatal appointments have become my zen time.

Happy New Years everyone.